Isn’t life full of decisions?! We have to make decisions every day. Some big: What career path will I take? Should I date him/her? Should I get married? Should I get divorced? Should I have kids? Should I travel? Should I follow my dreams? Should I support her/him while they follow theirs? Some small: Should I eat that giant piece of chocolate cake? Should I wear the pink blouse? Should I go to the gym right now? Should I choose that one or the other one? With so many decisions and so many choices, how do you know what the right thing to do really is?
I think the scary part of making a decision is that most come with some sort of risk. What if you make the wrong decision? Pick the wrong one? The fear of committing such a mistake cripples us. Sometimes the fear paralyzes us and we don’t do anything at all. We become stagnant.
Recently I’ve been battling a number of different decisions in my head:
Should I take on new responsibilities at work?
Should I quit running? Injuries seem to be urging me to...
Should I quit the team? I’m on a team of fantastic runners who are striving for the Olympic Trials in 2016 and I haven’t run for the past 7 months. Should I quit? Let someone else, someone more “worthy” take my spot…
And most recently
Should I get back SURGERY?!
In the last couple of weeks I have become so overly concerned with doing the wrong things that I turned to other people to help make my decisions for me. Don’t get me wrong, I think input from others is great but I think I was looking for EXACT answers from them. I think I figured as long as X number of people agreed with me than that was enough to convince me that I MUST be making the right decision… right? But what if they don’t agree? What if what they think is right isn't right... for me? I was still searching for answers...I even consulted my good friend: Google. I Googled things like “How to make the right decision about X?” and “Tips to making a decision”. Ha Ha. How silly is this?!?! But, hey you know you have done it too! Maybe the pain killers I’m taking for my back were getting to my head. Or maybe it was temporary insanity but I believed the internet was going to give me my answers. It did not. BUT through my frantic and downright silly search I came across this video. The video didn’t tell me whether or not I should take on new responsibilities at work, it didn’t suggest I should or shouldn’t quit running and it didn’t say “Kristi you should get surgery”. But what it did do is empower me to make my OWN decisions and gave me confidence to act upon and choose what is right FOR ME.
Maya Angelou, the woman in this video was an incredible lady.
Doesn't she make great points? They make me think. This is what she said that really stuck with me:
“You know what is right. Just do right! You don’t have to ask anyone… Right may not be expedient. It may not be profitable, but it will satisfy your soul. It will give you the strength that even body guards can not give you…. Try to live your life in a way that you will not regret. Pick up the battle. Pick it up! This is YOUR life! This is YOUR world! You make your own choices. If you do this, then “it can be better and it must be better”.
So, I am going to do just that. I am going to “pick up my own battles” and make my own decisions by following those 3 simple words: “Just do right!”. What this means for me right now is this:
Should I take on new responsibilities at work? Yes. I strive for growth and to be my very best. It may be scary and uncomfortable to learn new things and take on new responsibilities but I will take them head on. It may mean extra time at work for a little while, but it will be worth it. I feel it!
Should I quit running? Injuries seem to be urging me to... No! Again, pain killers must have been getting to my head on this one! I am absolutely IN LOVE with running. I love the challenge it presents. I love the sense of accomplishment completing a tough workout provides. I love the friends I have made through running and the support we all give each other. I will not stop running. Even if it has to be in a pool right now, or only in my dreams until I get healthy enough. I will not stop.
Should I quit the team? I’m on a team of fantastic female runners who are striving for the Olympic Trials in 2016 and I haven’t run for the past 7 months. :( Should I quit? Let someone else, someone more “worthy” take my spot?… No! We are a team of women who support each other through the good and bad. I haven’t run for the past 7 months but I will run again and in the meantime I will be the loudest cheerleader I can be for my team mates. I will make t-shirts and work on committees and show up to team meetings with a smile on my face because I am in the presence of greatness. I love these girls and will continue to be on the team for as long as they will have me. I am worthy. :)
Should I get back SURGERY?! Yes. Unfortunately I have tried all other non-surgical treatments. 2 PRP injections, an epidural injection, nerve blocks and weeks of physical training and strengthening have proved to be unsuccessful (more on that in a future blog). In fact, I’m getting worse. If I do not fix these herniated disks in my back I will continue to deteriorate physically and mentally. This is a must. It is scary. But I’ve done my research on the doctor and on all possible treatments for my condition and I know that this is right. So, I will “just do right” and get it done so that I can get back to sleep filled nights and a life that is pain free. Micro discectomy surgery is scheduled for 3/20 and I’ll have a few weeks of down time after so I’ll be sure to write a BLOG about my recovery and keep you all updated!
Thanks for reading. I hope the Video helps you as much as it did me! :)